So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them.
Genesis 1:27
Imagine putting on an outfit for the first time. You loved this outfit on the hanger, but now you look at yourself in the mirror, unsure. You model it for your friend, mother, or spouse and you ask “Does this make me look …..?” Did you choose a negative word (fat, stupid, ugly, frumpy) to fill in the blank? Or did you opt for a positive choice (thin, smart, pretty, put-together)?
Negative questions are the equivalent to a gut-punch to our confidence. Regardless of the honest answer, asking a question in the negative sets a preconceived idea that the clothing is unflattering or that we are not worthy of wearing it.
Let’s be honest… we believe our inner voice more than we trust the opinions of our friends and family. So, how we self-talk as extremely important! Negative self-talk strips away our confidence and prevents us from being the best version of ourselves, regardless of the garments we wear. More importantly, it deprives us from receiving many of God’s blessings and distracts us from being the person He intends for us to be.
Even the best tailored wardrobes look frumpy on a slumped-shoulder sour-puss. It took me years to understand the import role clothing plays in our self-talk, confidence and ultimately how I live my life as a Christian in the eyes of the world. I realize that if I am not confident in my attire, no words can comfort me; nobody can say anything to make me change my mind. This realization has changed the way I dress.
When shopping for clothing, I have now consider which colors are most flattering for my skin tone, hair and eyes. I look for fabrics that are comfortable, breathable, and adaptable to a few pounds of weight fluctuation, while accounting for my body shape (I’m a pear). I select styles that are most figure-flattering and know which ones to avoid. I make a conscious effort to shop for pieces that are versatile and easily mix and match with my current wardrobe. However, the most important consideration in my every purchase is not my physical appearance, rather the appearance of my faith.
When I get dressed I ask for God’s help. I pray that whatever I wear that day will not be a distraction from His plans for me. I look at myself and remember that I am His daughter, a princess of the One True King. It’s rare that I look to my husband for affirmation. However, on the rare occasion that I do ask his opinion on my ensemble, I ask in the positive. For instance, instead of asking if my outfit makes me look fat, I am ask “Doesn’t this outfit look great?” or “Isn’t this dress amazing?”
Leading with a positive question allows the recipient to provide a more honest (and often positive) response and reflects our own self-confidence. When we feel good about our clothing and we speak words of kindness to ourselves, it shows on the outside. We walk with greater confidence. Our heads are held higher, our smiles spread wider, and His light can shine through us on everyone who crosses our path. The happier we are with ourselves, the easier it is to remember our purpose, and show love one another.
Remember, kindness is always on trend.